In Words
by Coppelia Martyrdom
Summary: Oneshot. He keeps dodging the fact that they left all the people they loved behind...


**Disclaimer:** Fullmetal Alchemist belongs to its various producers, and under no circumstances am I claiming it as my own. Don't sue me, kthx. 3

* * *

His eyes met mine…

"Brother," I just found myself spitting out, without thinking too clearly about it, "Who do you miss the most?"

For a moment, we were both completely still within the nightlife of the town, both absorbing the fullness of my question, then Ed just narrowed his brows into a thin, exasperated line. As irritated as he looked, he only breathed out a long, shuddering, hot sigh and turned his head away – I don't know why, but maybe he couldn't stand intercepting my expression.

"Don't, Al," Ed replied, his voice dripping with frustration. "We're not going to start with that."

_With what?_, I couldn't help thinking, and the way he was removing himself from me, trying to saddle away from the question, reminded me of the incident with Sloth, with our homunculus mother. Then, too, he stubbornly avoided any mention of those possibilities, of our failed transmutation becoming our worst responsibility. Well, even then, I admit, he didn't want to start any discussion about that because he knew I was hoping to let her live. That was one of many past mistakes and false judgments I was still trying to bear – but we had each other.

For the next several moments, we continued walking the path down the street, slowly reaching the square where Noah and the gypsies were waiting for us. It felt like forever. While Ed continued on, his hands fixed leisurely behind his head, elbows extended outward but his face fixed solemnly off to the distance, my conscience fought. I didn't want to avoid this – Brother may have wanted to, but I didn't. It didn't seem right just to leave everyone we loved on the other side of the gate in our heads, in lost memory and thought. We had to talk about them and accept things for what they were. Otherwise, it was disrespectful.

Praying this wouldn't turn into an argument, I gathered up the courage I could, thinking of Winry and Aunt Pinako and Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye and all of them.

I started, but already my voice was coming out weak, vulnerable. "Listen, brother, please. Why not?"

A dog was barking in the distance, accompanied by the faint sounds of massive vehicles and distinct, unison footfalls. To the far left, the flashing of lights caught my eye, and I turned and saw the soldiers already unloading from the cars, marching about in organized activity for their stationing. Already troops were arriving, more than necessary – and according to the news, it was happening all over Germany.

"Things are becoming tense. I wonder what--"

When my vision returned to Edward, I stopped myself. His body was erect and shaking, the fists clenched at his sides quivering underneath…well, I didn't know for sure, but probably the revisit of the subject, of my words: of our old home.

Desperately not wanting a fight, not right now, my arms were moving forward, almost on their own, in a kind of pleading yield. "Brother, I'm--"

He spun around on heel, and his shaking stopped but the harsh glare contorting his face, tearing across his gold eyes, made me wince a little. He was immensely still, frustrated, but he also looked fragile underneath the strains of his features.

"No, Alphonse," He evenly said, trying to make the words sound final. "It's unnecessary…" He dragged the pause out, the anger of his expression broken; now straining, "…and painful."

I couldn't say anything: I was just staring at him, wondering what was gripping his mind now, what my question did to him. What was it that he missed? Our family? The way the train whistled as it left Central? The heavy feeling – as he used to say - of the pocket watch strapped to his belt? Or was it the power of alchemy that once pulsed in his hands and changed the world around us?

He had turned around, facing forward again, but when I didn't say anything he wouldn't continue walking. There was a short silence, and he scratched his head lividly, with mild aggravation. At last, he lazily brought his arm down, the metal shifting noisily underneath the sleeve of his shirt.

"I miss…all of them. A lot," My brother mumbled, finally giving in.

The suddenness of at last admitting his answer coursed through me for a second, but I quickly regained myself in a wave of half-misery. "Yes. Me too," I quietly agreed, clutching the seams of my shirt.

"And I miss all of them. All of them equally," He added, trying a toothless smile. It only deepened the cheerless contours of his face. "That old hag, always making sure we didn't get ourselves into trouble. The bastard Mustang, with his stupid remarks – like we were untamed dogs in his company. Plus Teacher…" The golden discs of his irises shivered, lowering and resisting the urge to shed tears, "...well, I would miss her, even in our original world. Hell, I'd miss even Wrath, the maniacal kid."

"Yeah…" I answered, the word solemnly dragging into the air. I was trying to forget about Wrath's bloody death, and the decision I made to finally end his life with the transmutation.

"Wrath wanted you to transmute his body," Brother said, picking up on my dismayed thoughts. "He wanted to be sacrificed for our cause."

There was a pause, and he brought up a gloved finger to thoughtfully rest at his lip. "As for who I miss the most, if I had to decide…I guess…" A slight rose found his cheeks.

"Winry?" I offered, unable but to add a snickering tone to my voice.

As expected, he turned tomato red, and his limbs seemed as flimsy as goo despite how he tried to hide his reaction.

"W-W-W-WHAAT ARE Y-Y-Y-YOU T-TA-TA-TALKING AB--"

"You really aren't good with that sort of thing, are you, brother?"

He whipped around and glared at me with a pouty gorilla expression – with even an eyebrow twitching – but his face was still heavily flushed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," He mumbled, though when he started walking again, his steps were seemingly shaken up. "What about you?" He grumpily countered to me after a while.

I tried to sort through the people in my memory, the persons on the other side of gate. Though I probably missed Rose the most, I could say I had grown to like Noah. More than I'd like to admit.

It was actually creepy, because if I ended up meeting Rose _and_ Noah in the same place, I'd be, in short, a teenager who loved to womanize over twins. Which, according to the image in my mind at the time, was not a desirable forte.

I suddenly realized Brother was speculatively, almost suspiciously staring at me. Helplessly I cleared my throat.

"I miss Rose, I suppose," I commented, nonchalantly shrugging. I noticed my brother, his back still angrily hunched from the Winry subject, glaring at me with a combination of surprise, guesswork, and villainy.

"Don't be getting any ideas, Al," He loudly sneered, his smile devilish. I desperately wanted to know what the hell he was thinking before it was too late.

"What! What are you talking about?" I covered my pleading interest with retort, making to a harder jog as Ed began to walk with renewed vigor.

He turned only his head around to me so that it met his shoulder, his gold optics flashing with mischief.

"Ed! Alphonse!"

It was Noah's voice, helplessly cool, and Brother and I looked at each other. Edward's expression seemed to hold a meaningful exchange.

"There's no backtracking, Alphonse, remember?"

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_Author's Note:_ Ugh, this one came out more cheesy than I had hoped. /3

Anyway: Fullmetal Alchemist one-shot, post Conquerer of Shambala.

This one started out well, and the first line is actually a random prompt I used from the lovely Prompt Me! page on Gaia. Near the end, I admit the general theme of the piece became a little random...but I did want to stick in some EdxWinry and AlxNoah/Rose references there.

Al's POV mostly because of the prompt, and I didn't want to have to alter it. 3

Anyway, it's not really edited, as I was too lazy, so some of the sentence structure may be a little funny. Still, any comments are appreciated, even some critique. 3

You can find this work here on DeviantArt.


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